Relationship experts Dr Andrea and Jonathan Taylor-Cumming in their twenty years of sessions with couples have proposed the “4 habits in a successful relationship” to safeguard all relationships.
An issue that arises in the growth of a relationship is ‘no one has an idea on what to work on’.
According to the experts, most failed relationships they have encountered lacked either one or more of the suggested habits.
These habits can be learnt by all and increase the chances of having a long-lasting relationship.
Be curious, not critical
It is important to invest the time you have in understanding and appreciating the differences each partner brings to a relationship.
Most often, it is easier to put all efforts in downplaying or criticising the strengths and weaknesses each partner possesses rather than taking time to appreciate the uniqueness each partner brings to the table.
The focus in the relationship must be to grow, build and develop each other and not the other way round.
Be careful, not crushing
Most, if not all relationships engage in an argument from time to time. Due to the human difference, it is expected.
The issue here is the intensity and the extent to which these arguments may go. For a relationship to work, each partner must be careful not to crash each other with spiteful words.
There should be boundaries that limit interactions in an argument. You can agree not to raise the issue of divorce or get physical to hurt each other.
This principle will help to treat each other right even in compromising situations.
Ask, don’t assume
Mistrust and disrespect is a major cause for set-backs in a relationship.
To check this problem, it is important to ask the questions that matter rather than assuming which blurs the actual truth.
A man who has been taught from birth that a woman dishes and serves him his meal will expect that when he gets into a relationship.
If this is not communicated well enough, there would be so many problems to address in the relationship.
It is important to ask one another what they do or do not prefer and what they are comfortable with.
Connect, before you correct
There is the need to learn how to communicate in getting to know one another rather than giving demeaning feedbacks all the time.
No one likes to be nagged all the time.
The time in a relationship must be used to have conversations in activities both individuals admire to keep the magic and fire in the relationship alive.
The aim is to have a long-term relationship. You should not always be on the neck of your partner in correcting every single detail. People stay when they feel valued.